醫生的大門

Kino had wondered often at the iron in his patient, fragile wife.

奇諾常常驚嘆他那耐心而纖弱的妻子身上那股鋼鐵般的硬氣。

She, who was obedient and respectful and cheerful and patient, could arch her back in child pain with hardly a cry.

她順從、恭敬、開朗、有耐心，生孩子痛得弓起背，卻幾乎不哼一聲。

She could stand fatigue and hunger almost better than Kino himself.

她忍受疲勞和飢餓，幾乎比奇諾自己還強。

In the canoe she was like a strong man.

在獨木舟上，她就像一個壯漢。

And now she did a most surprising thing.

而現在，她做了一件最令人驚訝的事。

“The doctor,” she said.

「醫生。」她說。

“Go to get the doctor.”

「去找醫生來。」

The word was passed out among the neighbours where they stood close-packed in the little yard behind the brush fence.

這句話在擠滿樹枝圍籬後小院子的鄰居之間傳了出去。

And they repeated among themselves: “Juana wants the doctor.”

他們互相重複著：「胡安娜要找醫生。」

A wonderful thing, a memorable thing, to want the doctor.

想找醫生——這是一件了不起的事，一件值得記住的事。

To get him would be a remarkable thing.

要是真能找來，那就更不得了了。

The doctor never came to the cluster of brush houses.

醫生從來不到這片樹枝屋來。

Why should he, when he had more than he could do to take care of the rich people who lived in the stone and plaster houses of the town?

他何必來呢？光是照顧住在鎮上石頭灰泥房子裡的有錢人，他就忙不過來了。

“He would not come,” the people in the yard said.

「他不會來的。」院子裡的人說。

“He would not come,” the people in the door said, and the thought got into Kino.

「他不會來的。」門口的人說，這個念頭鑽進了奇諾心裡。

“The doctor would not come,” Kino said to Juana.

「醫生不會來的。」奇諾對胡安娜說。

She looked up at him, her eyes as cold as the eyes of a lioness.

她抬頭看他，眼神冷得像母獅的眼睛。

This was Juana’s first baby—this was nearly everything there was in Juana’s world.

這是胡安娜的第一個孩子——幾乎就是胡安娜世界裡的一切。

And Kino saw her determination and the music of the family sounded in his head with a steely tone.

奇諾看見她的決心，家之歌在他腦中響起，帶著鋼鐵般的音色。

“Then we will go to him,” Juana said, and with one hand she arranged her dark-blue shawl over her head and made of one end of it a sling to hold the moaning baby and made of the other end of it a shade over his eyes to protect him from the light.

「那我們就去找他。」胡安娜說，她一隻手把深藍色披巾披到頭上，一頭做成吊帶兜住呻吟的嬰兒，另一頭做成遮陽，擋在他眼睛上。

The people in the door pushed against those behind to let her through.

門口的人往後擠，讓她過去。

Kino followed her.

奇諾跟在她後面。

They went out of the gate to the rutted path and the neighbours followed them.

他們走出院門，走上滿是車轍的小路，鄰居們跟著他們。

The thing had become a neighbourhood affair.

這件事變成了整個街坊的事。

They made a quick soft-footed procession into the centre of the town, first Juana and Kino, and behind them Juan Tomás and Apolonia, her big stomach jiggling with the strenuous pace, then all the neighbours with the children trotting on the flanks.

他們組成一支腳步輕快的隊伍走向鎮中心：前面是胡安娜和奇諾，後面是胡安．托馬斯和阿波洛妮亞——她的大肚子隨著吃力的步伐抖動著——再後面是所有鄰居，孩子們在兩側小跑。

And the yellow sun threw their black shadows ahead of them so that they walked on their own shadows.

黃色的太陽把他們黑色的影子投在前方，他們就踩著自己的影子走。

They came to the place where the brush houses stopped and the city of stone and plaster began, the city of harsh outer walls and inner cool gardens where a little water played and the bougainvillaea crusted the walls with purple and brick-red and white.

他們來到樹枝屋到此為止、石頭灰泥之城從這裡開始的地方——這座城外牆粗硬，裡面是涼爽的庭院，有一點流水在嬉戲，九重葛把牆壁覆上一層紫色、磚紅和白色。

They heard from the secret gardens the singing of caged birds and heard the splash of cooling water on hot flagstones.

他們聽見隱密的庭院裡傳來籠中鳥的歌聲，聽見清涼的水潑在發燙的石板上。

The procession crossed the blinding plaza and passed in front of the church.

隊伍穿過刺眼的廣場，經過教堂前面。

It had grown now, and on the outskirts the hurrying newcomers were being softly informed how the baby had been stung by a scorpion, how the father and mother were taking it to the doctor.

隊伍現在變大了，外圍匆匆趕來的新人被低聲告知：嬰兒怎麼被蠍子螫了，父母怎麼要帶他去看醫生。

And the newcomers, particularly the beggars from the front of the church who were great experts in financial analysis, looked quickly at Juana’s old blue skirt, saw the tears in her shawl, appraised the green ribbon on her braids, read the age of Kino’s blanket and the thousand washings of his clothes, and set them down as poverty people and went along to see what kind of drama might develop.

這些新來的人——尤其是教堂前那幾個精通財務分析的乞丐——很快地看了一眼胡安娜的舊藍裙，看到她披巾上的破洞，估量她辮子上的綠緞帶，讀出奇諾毯子的年紀和他衣服洗過的一千次，就把他們歸為窮人，然後跟上去看會演出什麼樣的戲。

The four beggars in front of the church knew everything in the town.

教堂前的四個乞丐知道鎮上的一切。

They were students of the expressions of young women as they went in to confession, and they saw them as they came out and read the nature of the sin.

他們專門研究年輕女人進去告解時的神情，再看她們出來的樣子，讀出那是什麼樣的罪。

They knew every little scandal and some very big crimes.

他們知道每一樁小醜聞，也知道幾樁大罪案。

They slept at their posts in the shadow of the church so that no one crept in for consolation without their knowledge.

他們就睡在教堂陰影裡的崗位上，所以沒有人能偷偷溜進去尋求慰藉而不被他們知道。

And they knew the doctor.

他們也了解醫生。

They knew his ignorance, his cruelty, his avarice, his appetites, his sins.

他們知道他的無知、他的殘忍、他的貪婪、他的慾望、他的罪孽。

They knew his clumsy abortions and the little brown pennies he gave sparingly for alms.

他們知道他笨拙的墮胎手術，知道他施捨時吝嗇地給出的那幾枚褐色小銅板。

They had seen his corpses go into the church.

他們看過他的屍體被抬進教堂。

And, since early Mass was over and business was slow, they followed the procession, these endless searchers after perfect knowledge of their fellow men, to see what the fat lazy doctor would do about an indigent baby with a scorpion bite.

既然早彌撒已經結束、生意清淡，這幾個無止境地追求徹底了解同胞的人，就跟著隊伍走，想看看那個又胖又懶的醫生，會怎麼對付一個被蠍子螫了的窮嬰兒。

The scurrying procession came at last to the big gate in the wall of the doctor’s house.

匆匆的隊伍終於來到醫生家圍牆上的大門前。

They could hear the splashing water and the singing of caged birds and the sweep of the long brooms on the flagstones.

他們聽得見潑濺的水聲、籠中鳥的歌聲，還有長掃帚掃過石板的聲音。

And they could smell the frying of good bacon from the doctor’s house.

他們還聞得到醫生家裡煎著上好培根的香味。

Kino hesitated a moment.

奇諾猶豫了一下。

This doctor was not of his people.

這個醫生不是他的族人。

This doctor was of a race which for nearly four hundred years had beaten and starved and robbed and despised Kino’s race, and frightened it too, so that the indigene came humbly to the door.

這個醫生屬於另一個種族——近四百年來，那個種族毆打、餓死、搶劫、輕視奇諾的種族，也恐嚇它，所以原住民來到門前，總是低聲下氣。

And as always when he came near to one of this race, Kino felt weak and afraid and angry at the same time.

就像每次靠近這個種族的人一樣，奇諾同時感到軟弱、害怕和憤怒。

Rage and terror went together.

憤怒和恐懼一起來。

He could kill the doctor more easily than he could talk to him, for all of the doctor’s race spoke to all of Kino’s race as though they were simple animals.

他殺了醫生，比跟醫生說話還容易，因為醫生那個種族的人，對奇諾這個種族的人說話時，全都像在對低等的動物說話。

And as Kino raised his right hand to the iron ring knocker in the gate, rage swelled in him, and the pounding music of the enemy beat in his ears, and his lips drew tight against his teeth—but with his left hand he reached to take off his hat.

奇諾舉起右手去抓門上的鐵環門環，怒氣在他胸中膨脹，敵人的音樂在他耳中重重敲打，他的嘴唇緊緊抿著牙齒——可是他的左手卻伸上去摘下了帽子。

The iron ring pounded against the gate.

鐵環重重敲在門上。

Kino took off his hat and stood waiting.

奇諾摘下帽子，站著等候。

Coyotito moaned a little in Juana’s arms, and she spoke softly to him.

柯尤提托在胡安娜懷裡輕輕呻吟，她低聲對他說話。

The procession crowded close the better to see and hear.

隊伍擠上前去，好看得更清楚、聽得更清楚。

After a moment the big gate opened a few inches.

過了一會兒，大門開了幾吋。

Kino could see the green coolness of the garden and little splashing fountain through the opening.

奇諾從縫隙中看得見庭院裡綠色的清涼，和一座潺潺的小噴泉。

The man who looked out at him was one of his own race.

往外看他的那個人，是他自己族人。

Kino spoke to him in the old language.

奇諾用古老的語言對他說話。

“The little one—the first-born—has been poisoned by the scorpion,” Kino said.

「這個小的——頭生的——被蠍子毒了。」奇諾說。

“He requires the skill of the healer.”

「他需要醫者的技藝。」

The gate closed a little, and the servant refused to speak in the old language.

門關小了一點，僕人拒絕用古老的語言說話。

“A little moment,” he said.

「稍等片刻。」他說。

“I go to inform myself,” and he closed the gate and slid the bolt home.

「我去問問看。」他關上門，把門閂插上。

The glaring sun threw the bunched shadows of the people blackly on the white wall.

刺眼的太陽把人群擠成一團的影子，黑黑地投在白牆上。

In his chamber the doctor sat up in his high bed.

醫生在他的寢室裡，從他那張高床上坐起來。

He had on his dressing-gown of red watered silk that had come from Paris, a little tight over the chest now if it was buttoned.

他穿著一件從巴黎來的紅色波紋絲睡袍，如今要是扣上扣子，胸口有點緊。

On his lap was a silver tray with a silver chocolate pot and a tiny cup of egg-shell china, so delicate that it looked silly when he lifted it with his big hand, lifted it with the tips of thumb and forefinger and spread the other three fingers wide to get them out of the way.

他腿上放著一個銀托盤，盤上有一把銀巧克力壺和一只小小的蛋殼瓷杯，杯子精緻得在他的大手裡顯得可笑——他用拇指和食指的指尖捏起它，另外三根手指大大張開，免得礙事。

His eyes rested in puffy little hammocks of flesh and his mouth drooped with discontent.

他的眼睛陷在兩小團浮腫的肉兜裡，嘴角因為不滿而下垂。

He was growing very stout, and his voice was hoarse with the fat that pressed on his throat.

他越來越胖，脂肪壓著喉嚨，讓他的聲音沙啞。

Beside him on a table was a small Oriental gong and a bowl of cigarettes.

他身邊的桌上有一面東方小鑼和一缽香菸。

The furnishings of the room were heavy and dark and gloomy.

房間的陳設沉重、陰暗、鬱悶。

The pictures were religious, even the large tinted photograph of his dead wife, who, if Masses willed and paid for out of her own estate could do it, was in Heaven.

牆上的畫都是宗教畫，連他亡妻那張上了色的大照片也是——如果用她自己遺產遺囑支付的彌撒有用的話，她已經在天堂了。

The doctor had once for a short time been a part of the great world and his whole subsequent life was memory and longing for France.

醫生曾經短暫地屬於那個廣大的世界，從此以後他的整個人生，就只剩對法國的回憶與渴望。

“That,” he said, “was civilised living”—by which he meant that on a small income he had been able to keep a mistress and eat in restaurants.

「那才是，」他說，「文明的生活」——他的意思是，靠一點微薄的收入，他就養得起情婦、上得起館子。

He poured his second cup of chocolate and crumbled a sweet biscuit in his fingers.

他倒了第二杯巧克力，用手指把一塊甜餅乾捏碎。

The servant from the gate came to the open door and stood waiting to be noticed.

從大門那邊來的僕人走到敞開的房門口，站著等主人注意到他。

“Yes?” the doctor asked.

「什麼事？」醫生問。

“It is a little Indian with a baby.

「是一個小印第安人帶著一個嬰兒。

He says a scorpion stung it.”

他說孩子被蠍子螫了。」

The doctor put his cup down gently before he let his anger rise.

醫生先把杯子輕輕放下，才讓怒氣升上來。

“Have I nothing better to do than cure insect bites for ‘little Indians’?

「我除了替『小印第安人』治蟲咬，就沒有更好的事可做了嗎？

I am a doctor, not a veterinary.”

我是醫生，不是獸醫。」

“Yes, Patron,” said the servant.

「是，主人。」僕人說。

“Has he any money?” the doctor demanded.

「他有錢嗎？」醫生質問。

“No, they never have any money.

「沒有，他們從來沒錢。

I, I alone in the world am supposed to work for nothing—and I am tired of it.

我，全世界只有我應該白做工——我受夠了。

See if he has any money!”

去看看他有沒有錢！」

At the gate the servant opened the door a trifle and looked out at the waiting people.

僕人在大門口把門開了一條小縫，往外看著等候的人群。

And this time he spoke in the old language.

這一次，他用古老的語言說話了。

“Have you money to pay for the treatment?”

「你有錢付醫藥費嗎？」

Now Kino reached into a secret place somewhere under his blanket.

奇諾把手伸進毯子底下某個祕密的地方。

He brought out a paper folded many times.

他掏出一張摺了很多層的紙。

Crease by crease he unfolded it, until at last there came to view eight small misshapen seed pearls, as ugly and grey as little ulcers, flattened and almost valueless.

他一摺一摺地打開，最後露出八顆畸形的小粒珍珠，醜陋灰暗，像一個個小潰瘍，扁扁的，幾乎一文不值。

The servant took the paper and closed the gate again, but this time he was not gone long.

僕人接過那張紙，又關上門，可是這次他沒去多久。

He opened the gate just wide enough to pass the paper back.

他把門打開，寬度剛好夠把紙遞回來。

“The doctor has gone out,” he said.

「醫生出門了。」他說。

“He was called to a serious case.”

「他被叫去看一個重症。」

And he shut the gate quickly out of shame.

他羞愧地趕緊關上了門。

And now a wave of shame went over the whole procession.

一陣羞愧掃過整支隊伍。

They melted away.

他們散掉了。

The beggars went back to the church steps, the stragglers moved off, and the neighbours departed so that the public shaming of Kino would not be in their eyes.

乞丐回到教堂的台階上，零星跟來的人走開了，鄰居們也離開，好讓奇諾當眾受辱的樣子不留在他們眼裡。

For a long time Kino stood in front of the gate with Juana beside him.

奇諾在大門前站了很久，胡安娜在他身邊。

Slowly he put his suppliant hat on his head.

他慢慢地把那頂哀求的帽子戴回頭上。

Then, without warning, he struck the gate a crushing blow with his fist.

然後，毫無預警地，他用拳頭狠狠砸了大門一拳。

He looked down in wonder at his split knuckles and at the blood that flowed down between his fingers.

他驚訝地低頭看著自己裂開的指節，看著從指縫間流下的血。