半瘋半神

The late moon arose before the first rooster crowed.

第一聲雞啼之前，晚升的月亮升起來了。

Kino opened his eyes in the darkness, for he sensed movement near him, but he did not move.

奇諾在黑暗中睜開眼睛，因為他察覺身邊有動靜，可是他沒有動。

Only his eyes searched the darkness, and in the pale light of the moon that crept through the holes in the brush house Kino saw Juana arise silently from beside him.

只有他的眼睛在黑暗中搜尋；在從樹枝屋的縫隙裡悄悄透進來的蒼白月光中，奇諾看見胡安娜從他身邊無聲地起身。

He saw her move towards the fireplace.

他看見她朝火爐走去。

So carefully did she work that he heard only the lightest sound when she moved the fireplace stone.

她做得那麼小心，移開火爐的石頭時，他只聽見最輕微的聲響。

And then like a shadow she glided towards the door.

然後她像影子一樣滑向門口。

She paused for a moment beside the hanging box where Coyotito lay, then for a second she was black in the doorway, and then she was gone.

她在柯尤提托睡的吊箱旁停了一下，接著有一秒鐘，她在門口成了一個黑影，然後就不見了。

And rage surged in Kino.

憤怒在奇諾胸中洶湧。

He rolled up to his feet and followed her as silently as she had gone, and he could hear her quick footsteps going towards the shore.

他翻身站起，像她離開時一樣無聲地跟上去，他聽得見她急促的腳步朝岸邊走去。

Quietly he tracked her, and his brain was red with anger.

他悄悄地追蹤她，腦子因為憤怒而一片血紅。

She burst clear out of the brush line and stumbled over the little boulders towards the water, and then she heard him coming and she broke into a run.

她衝出灌木叢，在小石塊間跌跌撞撞地奔向水邊，接著她聽見他追來，就拔腿跑了起來。

Her arm was up to throw when he leaped at her and caught her arm and wrenched the pearl from her.

她的手臂已經舉起來要丟了，他撲上去抓住她的手臂，把珍珠從她手裡奪了過來。

He struck her in the face with his clenched fist and she fell among the boulders, and he kicked her in the side.

他握緊拳頭一拳打在她臉上，她倒在石塊間，他又踢了她的側腹。

In the pale light he could see the little waves break over her, and her skirt floated about and clung to her legs as the water receded.

在蒼白的光裡，他看見小浪打在她身上，她的裙子漂了起來，海水退去時又黏在她腿上。

Kino looked down at her and his teeth were bared.

奇諾低頭看著她，齜著牙。

He hissed at her like a snake, and Juana stared at him with wide unfrightened eyes, like a sheep before the butcher.

他像蛇一樣對她嘶嘶作響，胡安娜睜大眼睛盯著他，毫不害怕，像一隻在屠夫面前的羊。

She knew there was murder in him, and it was all right; she had accepted it, and she would not resist or even protest.

她知道他心裡有殺意，那也沒關係；她已經接受了，她不會抵抗，甚至不會抗議。

And then the rage left him and a sick disgust took its place.

然後憤怒離開了他，一陣令人作嘔的厭惡取而代之。

He turned away from her and walked up the beach and through the brush line.

他轉身離開她，走上海灘，穿過灌木叢。

His senses were dulled by his emotion.

他的感官被情緒弄遲鈍了。

He heard the rush, got his knife out and lunged at one dark figure and felt his knife go home, and then he was swept to his knees and swept again to the ground.

他聽見一陣衝撞聲，拔出刀，朝一個黑影刺過去，感覺到刀子刺了進去，接著他被撞得跪倒，又被撞倒在地上。

Greedy fingers went through his clothes, frantic fingers searched him, and the pearl, knocked from his hand, lay winking behind a little stone in the pathway.

貪婪的手指在他的衣服裡翻找，瘋狂的手指搜他的身，而那顆珍珠被打落了，躺在小路上一塊小石頭後面眨著眼。

It glinted in the soft moonlight.

它在柔和的月光下閃著光。

Juana dragged herself up from the rocks on the edge of the water.

胡安娜從水邊的石頭上撐起身子。

Her face was a dull pain and her side ached.

她的臉一陣悶痛，側腹也在痛。

She steadied herself on her knees for a while and her wet skirt clung to her.

她跪著穩住自己好一會兒，濕裙子黏在她身上。

There was no anger in her for Kino.

她心裡對奇諾沒有怒氣。

He had said: “I am a man,” and that meant certain things to Juana.

他說過「我是一個男人」，這句話對胡安娜來說意味著某些事。

It meant that he was half insane and half god.

它意味著他半是瘋子、半是神。

It meant that Kino would drive his strength against a mountain and plunge his strength against the sea.

它意味著奇諾會把他的力氣撞向一座山，把他的力氣衝向大海。

Juana, in her woman’s soul, knew that the mountain would stand while the man broke himself; that the sea would surge while the man drowned in it.

胡安娜用她女人的靈魂知道：山會屹立不動，而男人會粉身碎骨；海會照樣翻湧，而男人會溺死在裡面。

And yet it was this thing that made him a man, half insane and half god, and Juana had need of a man; she could not live without a man.

可是正是這個讓他成為一個男人，半是瘋子、半是神，而胡安娜需要一個男人；她不能沒有男人而活。

Although she might be puzzled by these differences between man and woman, she knew them and accepted them and needed them.

雖然男人和女人之間的這些差異也許讓她困惑，她了解它們、接受它們，也需要它們。

Of course she would follow him, there was no question of that.

她當然會跟隨他，這毫無疑問。

Sometimes the quality of woman, the reason, the caution, the sense of preservation, could cut through Kino’s manness and save them all.

有時候，女人的特質——理性、謹慎、保全一切的本能——能夠切穿奇諾的男子氣概，拯救他們所有人。

She climbed painfully to her feet, and she dipped her cupped palms in the little waves and washed her bruised face with the stinging salt water, and then she went creeping up the beach after Kino.

她忍著痛站起來，把手掌合成碗狀伸進小浪裡，用刺痛的鹹水洗她瘀青的臉，然後悄悄地沿著海灘去追奇諾。

A flight of herring clouds had moved over the sky from the south.

一片魚鱗雲從南方移過天空。

The pale moon dipped in and out of the strands of clouds so that Juana walked in darkness for a moment and in light the next.

蒼白的月亮在一縷縷雲間時隱時現，胡安娜一會兒走在黑暗裡，一會兒走在光裡。

Her back was bent with pain and her head was low.

她的背因為疼痛而彎著，頭垂得低低的。

She went through the line of brush when the moon was covered, and when it looked through she saw the glimmer of the great pearl in the path behind the rock.

月亮被遮住時她穿過灌木叢，等月亮再露臉，她看見小路上石頭後面那顆大珍珠的微光。

She sank to her knees and picked it up, and the moon went into the darkness of the clouds again.

她跪下把它撿起來，月亮又沒入了雲的黑暗中。

Juana remained on her knees while she considered whether to go back to the sea and finish her job, and as she considered, the light came again, and she saw two dark figures lying in the path ahead of her.

胡安娜跪在那裡，考慮要不要回到海邊，把她的事做完；她還在考慮，光又來了，她看見前面小路上躺著兩個黑影。

She leaped forward and saw that one was Kino and the other a stranger with dark shiny fluid leaking from his throat.

她撲上前去，看見一個是奇諾，另一個是陌生人，喉嚨正流出黑亮的液體。

Kino moved sluggishly, arms and legs stirred like those of a crushed bug, and a thick muttering came from his mouth.

奇諾遲緩地動著，手腳像被踩扁的蟲一樣蠕動，嘴裡發出含糊的嘟噥。

Now, in an instant, Juana knew that the old life was gone forever.

在那一瞬間，胡安娜知道舊的生活永遠過去了。

A dead man in the path and Kino’s knife, dark-bladed beside him, convinced her.

小路上的一個死人，和他旁邊那把刀刃發黑的奇諾的刀，讓她確信了。

All of the time Juana had been trying to rescue something of the old peace, of the time before the pearl.

這段時間以來，胡安娜一直想挽救一點舊日的平靜，挽救珍珠出現之前的那段時光。

But now it was gone, and there was no retrieving it.

可是現在它沒了，再也找不回來了。

And knowing this, she abandoned the past instantly.

知道這一點之後，她立刻拋下了過去。

There was nothing to do but to save themselves.

除了救他們自己，沒有別的事可做了。

Her pain was gone now, her slowness.

她的疼痛不見了，她的遲緩也不見了。

Quickly she dragged the dead man from the pathway into the shelter of the brush.

她很快把死人從小路拖進灌木叢裡藏起來。

She went to Kino and sponged his face with her wet skirt.

她走到奇諾身邊，用濕裙子擦他的臉。

His senses were coming back and he moaned.

他的知覺正在恢復，他呻吟著。

“They have taken the pearl.

「他們把珍珠拿走了。

I have lost it.

我把它弄丟了。

Now it is over,” he said.

現在一切都完了。」他說。

“The pearl is gone.”

「珍珠沒了。」

Juana quieted him as she would quiet a sick child.

胡安娜像哄一個生病的孩子一樣讓他安靜下來。

“Hush,” she said.

「別說了。」她說。

“Here is your pearl.

「你的珍珠在這裡。

I found it in the path.

我在小路上找到的。

Can you hear me now?

你現在聽得見我嗎？

Here is your pearl.

你的珍珠在這裡。

Can you understand?

你懂嗎？

You have killed a man.

你殺了一個人。

We must go away.

我們必須離開。

They will come for us, can you understand?

他們會來抓我們，你懂嗎？

We must be gone before the daylight comes.”

天亮之前我們就得走。」

“I was attacked,” Kino said uneasily.

「是我被攻擊的。」奇諾不安地說。

“I struck to save my life.”

「我是為了保命才刺的。」

“Do you remember yesterday?” Juana asked.

「你記得昨天嗎？」胡安娜問。

“Do you think that will matter?

「你以為那有用嗎？

Do you remember the men of the city?

你記得城裡那些人嗎？

Do you think your explanation will help?”

你以為你的解釋會有幫助嗎？」

Kino drew a great breath and fought off his weakness.

奇諾深深吸了一口氣，擊退了自己的虛弱。

“No,” he said.

「不會。」他說。

“You are right.”

「你說得對。」

And his will hardened and he was a man again.

他的意志變硬了，他又是一個男人了。

“Go to our house and bring Coyotito,” he said, “and bring all the corn we have.

「回家把柯尤提托帶來，」他說，「把我們所有的玉米都帶來。

I will drag the canoe into the water and we will go.”

我去把獨木舟拖下水，我們就走。」

He took his knife and left her.

他拿起刀離開了她。

He stumbled towards the beach and he came to his canoe.

他跌跌撞撞地走向海灘，來到他的獨木舟邊。

And when the light broke through again he saw that a great hole had been knocked in the bottom.

等月光再次透出來，他看見船底被打穿了一個大洞。

And a searing rage came to him and gave him strength.

一股灼熱的憤怒湧上來，給了他力量。

Now the darkness was closing in on his family; now the evil music filled the night, hung over the mangroves, skirled in the wave beat.

此刻黑暗正向他的家人逼近；此刻惡的音樂充滿了夜晚，懸在紅樹林上方，在海浪的節拍裡尖聲鳴響。

The canoe of his grandfather, plastered over and over, and a splintered hole broken in it.

他祖父的獨木舟，塗了一層又一層灰泥，被打出一個碎裂的洞。

This was an evil beyond thinking.

這是一種超乎想像的邪惡。

The killing of a man was not so evil as the killing of a boat.

殺死一個人，沒有殺死一艘船那麼邪惡。

For a boat does not have sons, and a boat cannot protect itself, and a wounded boat does not heal.

因為船沒有兒子，船無法保護自己，受了傷的船也不會癒合。

There was sorrow in Kino’s rage, but this last thing had tightened him beyond breaking.

奇諾的憤怒中帶著悲傷，可是這最後一擊讓他繃緊到了無法再斷裂的地步。

He was an animal now, for hiding, for attacking, and he lived only to preserve himself and his family.

他現在是一頭動物了，為了躲藏、為了攻擊，他活著只為了保全自己和家人。

He was not conscious of the pain in his head.

他感覺不到頭上的痛。

He leaped up the beach, through the brush line towards his brush house, and it did not occur to him to take one of the canoes of his neighbours.

他跳上海灘，穿過灌木叢，朝他的樹枝屋奔去，他從來沒想過要拿鄰居的獨木舟。

Never once did the thought enter his head, any more than he could have conceived breaking a boat.

這個念頭一次也沒進過他的腦子，就像他無法想像去打破一艘船一樣。

The roosters were crowing and the dawn was not far off.

公雞在啼叫，黎明不遠了。

Smoke of the first fires seeped out through the walls of the brush houses, and the first smell of cooking corn-cakes was in the air.

第一批火堆的煙從樹枝屋的牆縫裡滲出來，空氣中有了第一股烤玉米餅的香味。

Already the dawn birds were scampering in the bushes.

黎明的鳥已經在灌木叢裡蹦跳。

The weak moon was losing its light and the clouds thickened and curdled to the southward.

虛弱的月亮正在失去光芒，南方的雲越積越厚，凝成一團團。

The wind blew freshly into the estuary, a nervous, restless wind with the smell of storm on its breath, and there was change and uneasiness in the air.

風清新地吹進河口，一陣緊張不安的風，氣息裡帶著暴風雨的味道，空氣中有變化，也有不安。